Now Playing: Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

When Resident Evil 4 released on the GameCube in 2005 it not only redefined Resident Evil as a series going forward, it also came to define and inspire an entire generation of games and its influence can still be felt to this day.

Resident Evil 4 is a genuine classic and a fantastic game. I know that. You know that. For me, the question isn’t: Original or Remake? Because there’s really no wrong answer and I think you’ll have a great time either way. That’s why this review will focus on a more contentious debate: does this 2023 remake of Resident Evil 4 capture what made the original so special?

I seem to have played quite a few remakes recently, but this was the one I felt most conflicted about. I played the demo prior to its release and there was something about it that didn’t feel right to me – I just couldn’t put my finger on why.

Spin on to 2026 and I finally picked up this remake in a sale. The time had come to be brave, get off the fence, get stuck in and make a judgement. Buckle up, kids, because this one’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

Resident Evil 4 is a game of three locations – the Village, the Castle and the Island. For those of us old enough to have played the original at release, the Village is probably the part we recall the most clearly (and fondly) because it’s the part we replayed the most. Because it’s the part we’d get our friends to play when they came over.

Because that opening in the Village is pure, terrifying joy! What begins with a slow, atmospheric build up suddenly explodes into a frenzy of violence, panic and genuine fear. It’s heart pounding, sweaty, and incredibly tense. Sadly, I think it’s the part of the original that this remake – perhaps unsurprisingly – struggles to live up to the most.

It’s important to recognise that the way we experienced the original at release can’t be replicated today. Huddled close to a small TV with fuzzy visuals and a very narrow field of view made the game feel claustrophobic in a way sharp HD visuals and widescreen monitors do not. Leon couldn’t turn, shoot or reload with ease due to the more restrictive controls, making it hard to track enemies as they slowly surrounded you.

Using the GC controller to line up a shot took precious seconds you didn’t feel you had, forcing you to decide between running, shooting or reloading. Call it a ‘nostalgia factor’ if you will, but the limitations of the time enhanced the experience in a way that’s impossible to recapture today.

But now, in 2026, with a wide field of view and the precision of mouse aim, I was running around headshotting the villagers with ease. I never felt any sense of panic. Of being overwhelmed. I didn’t even really feel at risk. One of the most memorable gaming moments of my life fell completely flat in this remake. But as I said, you can’t replicate the original experience in such a manner. It’s simply not possible and frankly, I doubt modern audiences would appreciate it if you tried.

That said, I don’t think the ‘nostalgia factor’ is entirely to blame here. There are design choices, cuts and changes that were made in this remake that in my eyes, fail to capture the magic of the original experience. In the original game, the village itself was more open and desolate looking. In the remake, it’s more cluttered and closed in. It’s an attempt at making the player feel more penned in with less escape routes. The problem is, it doesn’t quite work because you really don’t need them.

Which leads me onto the new parry system whereby Leon can now deflect attacks – most attacks, in fact – with his knife. In the original, when the ‘Chainsaw Guy’ arrived, he was fast, brutal and relentless and if he made it close to you, you knew you were utterly f**ked.

I was so disappointed when, in the remake, the Chainsaw Guy lumbered into view and even when he got close, that ‘parry’ prompt appeared, rendering what was one of the most terrifying encounters in video game history into an entirely trivial one. I don’t even dislike the parry system! It’s a smart modern addition, as is the new ‘stealth’ system. But I don’t feel it should work for every enemy or nearly every attack.

I also have to address how they handled the villagers in this remake. In the original, the villagers behaved like an angry mob. They worked together, spoke to one another, coordinating their attacks as they slowly surrounded you. It made Resident Evil 4 feel completely different to what came before in the series. You weren’t dealing with mindless monsters but thinking, planning and very determined individuals trying to murder you.

In the remake, the villagers just act just like dumb, mumbling zombies slowly lurching towards you. In the original they’d shout and laugh and taunt you. They had personality! That’s sadly been lost here. You could also shoot through doors in the original! You can’t here – likely a limitation of the new RE Engine and that’s something I’m going to touch upon later.

So much of the village location feels . . . quiet. The original had much stronger ambient audio and musical stings. The remake goes for a more sombre, serious tone but loses a lot of the atmosphere of the original as a result. Arriving at the church to free Ashley is a good example of this. In the original, a storm has begun and it’s loud – thunder booming overhead as heavy rain falls. In the remake, the rain is more like a smattering and the thunder feels distant. It’s oddly . . . relaxed. It doesn’t build the same sense of foreboding.

Even without the ‘nostalgia factor’ at play I still think the worst fumble this remake makes is the opening Village section. It completely fails to capture the tension, panic and atmosphere of the original. That said, I do think the remake improves significantly once you progress, most notably in the Castle and Island locations.

And yes, undoubtedly that’s likely because those sections aren’t so imprinted on my memory in the same way the opening is. But I do think by the time you arrive at the Castle, you’ve become more accustomed to how this remake feels to play and you’re more willing to go with the flow.

It does feel like they’ve cut a fair bit of the ‘silliness’ of the original. Because Resident Evil 4 could get very, very silly! I’ve always thought of it like the ‘Commando’ (the 1985 Schwarzenegger classic) of video games in terms of its escalating silliness. But moments where you’re being chased by a giant mechanical statute, for example, are totally cut from this remake.

And I get it. And I don’t even mind the shift to a more serious tone but it does, once again, make the game lose some of its original personality, particularly for the villains. In the original, they’d banter back and forth with Leon over video calls. All gone! But they did make Leon quip (badly) a lot in what feels like a misguided nod towards the original’s silliness . . . which then somewhat jars with the more serious tone.

Ashley, I must say, is less annoying as a character in this remake, but she is also a little more annoying as a partner. Unlike the original, you can’t order her to wait, only ‘keep her distance’ and she has a tendency to wander into trouble – or your line of fire – more frequently as a result.

We also need to talk about YELLOW PAINT. I really don’t mind yellow paint. I get it! When visuals are more busy, more detailed, it makes it harder to tell what you can or can’t interact with. But RE4 is excessive with the yellow paint to the point that it’s completely ridiculous. It’s everywhere and rather spoils the aesthetic of various locations when there’s a massive patch of yellow paint splashed up a Castle wall, for example.

Despite thinking that it fumbles the opening, there is a lot to love about this remake, and I can’t deny I had a good time playing it – but I also think it brings to light an issue I have with the modern Resident Evil games in general.

As I said at the beginning of this review, Resident Evil 4 redefined Resident Evil. It became a series that was consistently . . . inconsistent, with each new title feeling and looking and playing differently than before. But now, with all the games using the new RE Engine, these remakes and even the new games in the series all have the same look and feel. They’re now consistently . . . consistent.

Which, from a development point of view, I can understand the appeal – less development time, less cost, less risk. And I understand the appeal for new players who want a consistent feeling when playing through the series.

Resident Evil has become ‘safe’ if you will. It’s more streamlined, it’s more accessible. It smooths out all the rough edges – but those rough edges sometimes give a game a little more . . . dare I say it – soul.

And for Resident Evil 4, a game that redefined a series and inspired a new generation, to be reduced to such a homogenised experience that falls neatly in line just doesn’t feel right. It’s lost something special – something unique – in the translation to the new engine and the modern design choices they’ve made.

I guess you could say that the original and remake are both products of their time. The original came at a time when big publishers were more willing to experiment, innovate and take a risk. That’s not so much the case now in an industry relying on ‘safe’ sequels and established franchises and Resident Evil 4 Remake is a perfect example of that. It’s just a shame that a game that was famous for breaking the mould now sits neatly inside it.

It’s still fantastic to play because Resident Evil 4, at its core, is still fantastic. But I don’t think this is a fantastic remake. I think, overall, it’s a good one, but I also think it misses the mark too often for me to love it. There are ways in which it can’t hope to replicate the original experience, but there are ways in which it could have, but chose not to – to its detriment, in my view.

Nevertheless, I still had a great time playing it and I’m glad I did. And it’s not like the original isn’t widely available. If you’re new to Resident Evil 4 this really isn’t a bad way to experience it. And honestly, it would be hard to recommend the original to a new player when this version is available. But if you do enjoy this, maybe give the original a look? You never know, you might be quite surprised!

7/10

Wolverine, The Hypocrisy of Games Media & When You AAA Too Hard

Back in June, I shared my impressions of the upcoming Insomniac Wolverine game in my E3 Special post and they weren’t exactly glowing.

But I certainly wasn’t alone in my reaction, as social media was soon flooded with similarly mixed opinions. And that’s fine – it’s marketing material designed to sell people on the game and people have a right to express their opinion on if said material was successful or not. This is the way it’s always been and yet . . .

‘Marvel’s Wolverine Is Another Victim Of The Internet’s Endless Gaming Negativity’

That was the headline on a Gamespot article that I found rather laughable, not because I disagree with the general premise that there’s an online negativity machine – social platforms like X and YouTube reward outrage and toxic engagement and that’s been a growing trend for years. But games media is just as guilty of perpetuating toxicity and profiting from it.

More subtle about it, perhaps, more reliant on snark and sarcasm than outright abuse, but toxic just the same. I’ve written about this before – about games media tearing games down relentlessly for clicks. Participating in the very same engagement economy they’re suddenly so determined to criticise.

Which brings us back to Wolverine. I’ve not played Wolverine. I can only share my opinion on what I’ve seen and what I’ve seen has disappointed me. Does that make me yet another cog in the ‘hate machine’? I don’t think so.

The big issue I have with Wolverine is that it doesn’t look like the game trusts me to play it. It looks designed to provide an experience that’s as frictionless as it is accessible to all and I think the feeling of disappointment I have isn’t really about Wolverine, but about how I’ve come to feel about many modern AAA games – and that’s what prompted me to write this post.

Not because they’re badly made or, indeed, bad games! But because they’re increasingly frictionless. Cinematic. Polished. Accessible. Heavily telegraphed. Carefully choreographed and constantly reinforcing what the developer wants you to do. None of which, when appropriately proportioned, are necessarily bad design choices, but when you sand down every rough edge, what are you left with?

You’re left with games designed around eliminating opportunities for the player to fail, experiment, get lost, make a mistake or – most importantly – express themselves. Spectacle without agency. That’s the heart of it, I think. And that’s where games like Wolverine have increasingly lost me.

Now Playing: Doom: The Dark Ages – Revelations (DLC)

There’s a certain degree of expectation when it comes to DLC content and to call Revelations a ‘DLC’ feels misleading. This is an old-school style expansion pack – the likes of which we rarely see these days. Hell, (no pun intended!) I put nearly as many hours into Revelations as I did the base game.

Revelations begins where the The Dark Ages concluded, serving not only as an expansion but a de facto sequel. As the Doom Slayer, you’re continuing your one man crusade against the Legions of Hell. Revelations expects you to hit the ground running, throwing you right back into the thick of the action.

If, like me, you haven’t played the base game for while, you might need to spend a little time – maybe even drop the difficulty a notch – getting yourself back up to speed. And I wouldn’t be ashamed about tweaking the difficulty when you start this DLC – it certainly feels like a step up in terms of challenge than the base game.

Revelations opens with a prologue chapter before the Slayer is cast into Purgatory. You retain access to all your weapons and upgrades but you lose access to your shield. In its place, you gain the Chain Spear. Oh boy – I can’t wait to dig into that! To say the Spear may take a little time to acclimatise to is an understatement.

The Dark Ages played a particular way – combat fell into a defined ‘flow’ or ‘groove’ just like Doom 2016 and just like Doom: Eternal. The Chain Spear turns that way and that ‘groove’ entirely upon its head. In a way, it’s like learning the game all over again. And the Spear, initially, feels incredibly weak to the point that you really do miss your shield because the shield provided a ‘safety net’ of sorts.

You can block and parry with the shield, but you can’t block with the Spear and the parry timing doesn’t feel quite so generous. You can dodge with the Spear, but it won’t give you breathing space in the same way a tactical shield charge would. Whilst the shield had offensive capabilities, it still felt like more of a defensive tool – but the Spear is the complete opposite.

The Chain Spear demands and, more importantly – rewards – aggression in a way that's more reminiscent of Doom: Eternal with a focus on frantic mobility and speed. You still feel the weight of the Slayer. Those thundering steps. But now – you’ll believe a Slayer can fly. The Spear does feel, as I said, somewhat weak initially. It’s a weapon that requires several upgrades before you truly unlock its potential.

But fear not – because you also get your shield back early into the campaign and once you do, you’ll be able to seamlessly switch between the shield and the spear on the fly in combat – sometimes when you’re literally flying! This gives you the ability to play Revelations with two very distinct combat flows or – if like me you want to mix things up – switch between those flows mid-combat depending upon the arena or the enemies you’re facing.

This is, without a doubt, tricky initially and does take time to learn. However, the more I upgraded the Spear and understood how to utilise it effectively, the more I went from missing my shield to barely wanting to use it at all. As a big fan of Eternal, the fast paced, aggressive mobility of its combat style made me feel all warm and fuzzy as I dodged, dashed and chain hooked my way from one demon to the next.

The Chain Spear is fantastic – an addition that completely transforms how The Dark Ages feels to play, and when combined tactically with the shield, provides an immensely satisfying, varied and absolutely relentless experience. Just don’t expect to be very good with it right away – it takes time (and upgrades) to master.

In Purgatory, the Slayer is tasked with travelling to three realms to retrieve pieces of a key that will enable them to escape the limbo dimension. Each realm has its own distinct visual theme, puzzles and encounters. With all three keys, you’ll embark upon a final mission in a new area (no spoilers!) culminating in a final boss fight. Or . . . not so final, as it turns out.

Because Revelations doesn’t end there. You then get access to a ‘Master Key’ that unlocks new areas in the previous realms with new encounters, new puzzles and new challenges – including some very enjoyable ‘classic’ mini-levels in the style of the original Doom games. Completing all of this extra content rewards you with yet another key which in turn unlocks another boss fight – and a damn hard one at that! But if you think it’s over – think again! Defeating that boss unlocks four more ‘Master Arenas’ to really test your skill.

The content value here is undeniably fantastic, but more importantly, it never feels like padding. Every new area introduces something worth seeing, fighting or discovering . . . and it’s all so polished, so perfectly paced. This is peak first person shooter. It just doesn’t get much better than this!

If you haven’t played The Dark Ages yet then do so and be sure to pick up this expansion alongside it. It actually went on sale at 50% off five days after I purchased it. Normally, that would irritate me, but Revelations is so damn good that I ain’t even mad. It was well worth every penny.

Given the recent lay-offs at id Software, I don't know what the future holds for the studio or for Doom. It’s a strange position to be in – they’ve just delivered not only an incredible Doom game, but an incredible expansion to go with it. But if this really is the end of an era for id, then what a hell of a way to go out.

9/10

Gears of War: E-Day Multiplayer (BETA)

What interested me going into this Multiplayer Beta wasn’t – you might be surprised to hear – the Multiplayer. It was, for me at least, a chance to see what Gears of War: E-Day looked like visually, how it performed technically and most importantly – how it felt to play. I never played Gears MP back in the day on the 360. So my primary interest in E-Day was – and remains – the story campaign.

This beta, I’m pleased to say, was a far more smooth experience than my last (see my recent Marvel Tokon: Fighting Souls Beta post). I was able to install the beta client and perform the shader compilation prior to the open release so when it did unlock, I could hit the ground running. Signing in with an MS account was optional, not mandatory, but I chose to do so and it connected flawlessly.

The beta included a range of customisation choices and a handy benchmark utility with only a few (beta) locked options. And it featured quite a substantial range of content. There was a practice / training mode which was my first port of call with a short tutorial segment followed by various combat exercises.

It’s been many, many years since I’ve played a Gears game – not since Gears 3 in 2011. There’s a . . . I suppose you could call it ‘deliberate clunkiness’ to the movement system. It takes a little getting used to. Turning isn’t quick and the field of view is low, creating a somewhat sluggish and at times claustrophobic experience in combat.

But that’s the vibe they were going for – you’re a slab of meat in a heavy suit of armour getting up close and nasty. You do have some mobility – the classic dodge roll and sprint – but you’re not the most agile of soldiers. You’re designed to take a beating as much as dish one out.

Your guns have quite heavy recoil too – spraying and praying isn’t the best option as you’ll burn through ammo fast. Despite not playing a Gears game for over a decade, I fell back into old habits quite quickly – snapping to cover, blind firing around corners (the first time I gibbed a Locust around a corner with the shotgun felt just as satisfying as it did back in Gears 1) nailing the active reload and chainsawing my way through my opponents in one hell of a bloody mess.

So far, so Gears. Nothing particularly new or revolutionary. Just solid, satisfying third person action. This was enough for me to know that provided the campaign looked good, E-Day was a game I’d probably pick up – if not at release, at least in a future sale.

But, I figured I’d give the MP a try. Why not? And to my surprise, I enjoyed it quite a lot! The beta included a Versus mode with two maps and two modes – Team Death Match and Domination. It took a few games to get a feel for things, but I was soon rolling, sliding and gibbing other players through both modes with a grin on my face. There’s nothing fancy about it. It’s surprisingly old-school in terms of design. No gimmicks. Just pure MP carnage.

And then I tried the other mode included in this beta – Horde Siege. And this is where I ended up spending the next few days playing until the beta ended. Horde Siege itself is split into multiple modes and difficulties. There’s a tutorial version for new players and then a main version of Siege split into a shorter (Blitz) or standard (Siege) version.

In Siege the goal is to enter a map (one included in the beta) with a team of four players, complete various missions and then safely extract. But you’re not the only team on the map. There are two other teams of four also working on their own objectives and your paths will often cross. This isn’t a competitive mode but a co-operative one. As teams cross paths they’ll often help each other out and the map will sometimes throw up a large scale boss fight that every team can join forces to defeat and claim a reward.

You’ll earn a currency as you play you can use to buy ammo, equipment or mission limited upgrades for your squad. There is a level system in place both for you and for the various classes with unlocks including new weapons, weapon mods, armour mods and a variety of cosmetic customisation options. A lot of which can be purchased using ‘weapon parts’ that you’ll collect as rewards for completing missions in Siege.

The other included mode was Horde – which is exactly what you might expect. A simple mission to survive 10 waves of enemies. I only played this the once, but enjoyed it. In fact, I’d have loved to have played more, including more Versus matches but sadly the beta ended before I had a chance. But it’s safe to say I thoroughly enjoyed what I did get to play.

I do have my reservations regarding the longevity of Horde Siege as it currently exists. More maps and boss encounters would help but it is, by its nature, designed around a repetitive – if undoubtedly enjoyable – structure. It’s hard to see how they can keep mixing it up to keep players engaged long term. But maybe that’s not the goal. Not every game need to be an ever-ongoing live service experience, after all.

Overall, this beta gave me exactly what I wanted from it. E-Day still feels like Gears, and the technical and visual presentation is on point. I also discovered a very fun multiplayer mode I wasn’t expecting and although the campaign remains the reason I’ll be playing E-Day, I think I’ll be spending more time online with it than I first thought.

Now Playing: REPLACED

I shared my impressions of the demo for REPLACED back in March and I summed up that post by saying that whilst the demo had left me wanting more, I had a sense that the game may prove more style than substance and that it would ‘likely live and die on its narrative aspects rather than its gameplay’. So let’s see if I was right, eh?

REPLACED is undoubtedly a very stylish game – with striking pixel art visuals, cinematic framing and an appropriately pounding synth-driven soundtrack – this is a game that never fails to impress visually or audibly during the ten or so hour play time.

And yes, it’s undoubtedly true that the style of REPLACED does elevate the overall experience. But it’s also true that REPLACED does possess the substance needed to carry you through, both in terms of gameplay and narrative.

Set in an alternative 1980s, you play as Reach, an artificial intelligence that finds itself inhabiting the body of its human creator and forced to go on the run from the sinister Phoenix Corporation. What Reach was created for and why the Phoenix Corporation so desperately wants him back aren’t aspects I’ll touch upon here because I don’t wish to spoil the experience.

But I also don’t want to oversell things. The story is very good, but not amazing – it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. There aren’t any surprises and no great twists. But the story is well paced, well presented and well told and sometimes, that’s all a game needs.

There’s a feeling of ‘heaviness’ to Reach in the way he moves and fights. Every action feels deliberate and demands a degree of precision. It’s an interesting choice given that fluidity and speed are the more recent ‘go to’ development choices when it comes to movement and combat mechanics.

Not here. REPLACED offers little leeway and can be unforgiving – frustratingly so at times, I admit. The game offers a mix of platforming, combat and puzzles. Puzzles are few and far between and very simple to solve. Platforming consists of jumps, swings and good timing. Combat operates like a 2D version of the Batman Arkham games with alert indicators, counter moves and a few special gadgets to mix things up.

The platforming is fairly easy once you get a feel for the ‘heaviness’ of the movement, and the game does utilise the modern ‘yellow paint’ system to highlight exactly where you can and can’t go. That said, the highly detailed and visually busy environments can sometimes make it unclear exactly where you’re supposed to jump next at times, leading to some unfortunate deaths.

I also encountered some buggy situations when using the pick axe – a traversal and combat tool that you’ll collect early in the game – not always connecting with the environment, leading to more unfortunate deaths. I also encountered one bug where Reach refused to grab a pipe I needed to slide down, falling to his death several times until I managed to get him to connect.

Checkpoints are fairly generous though, and there is a chapter select option which, if you do hit a traversal bug and get stuck, a quick reload should fix the issue. I don’t think there’s anything seriously wrong here – just a few little things I hope the developers can smooth out.

Combat is surprisingly fun and offers just enough depth and variety to see you through from beginning to end. You’ll start with a simple baton and melee attack, but as you progress you’ll unlock the pick (for cutting through enemy shields or armour) a gun (for limited range attacks and stylish finishing moves) and then extra ‘gadget’ abilities that I won’t spoil here.

Enemy variety also offers just the right amount of variety to keep you engaged – this is a game that knows how to pace itself in pretty much every department. Be they combat or traversal mechanics, new environments or new enemy types, REPLACED always has a new trick up its sleeve.

Combat, like movement, has a ‘heaviness’ to it and, given the limited shots of his gun (which needs to recharge) Reach relies far more on melee attacks and precise proximity in combat. I played REPLACED on Hard and that’s actually the difficulty I’d recommend for everyone because it’s really not that hard – but it does force you to consider distance and the slower pace of movement (Reach won’t dodge, duck or strike instantly, so timing is key).

Reach can counter enemies that attack with a ‘yellow’ indicator, but ‘red’ attacks can only be dodged. It’s simple, but effective. Like so much of REPLACED, it’s a tried and tested system that’s fun and satisfying, but it’s all wrapped up and elevated by the impeccable presentation.

That said, there are times where, like the platforming, the visually busy environments and the cinematic framing can actually be detrimental to the experience as – in certain situations – it makes it hard to read enemy indicators. Enemies also ‘linger’ in the background of a fight before stepping in – and sometimes it’s hard to read which enemies are active and which aren’t leading to you attempting to strike enemies that are actually in the background.

Overall, REPLACED is excellent and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with it. It’s a game that’s clearly been a labour of love for the developers, crafted down the years with care and precision. It’s not without its flaws and yes, it can be argued that the core of the game lacks a degree of substance and relies on its presentation and style to carry it through.

And yes, there’s some truth to that. But even so, if you’re gonna lean on style, you wanna make it the best – and few games can say they’re as stylish as REPLACED. That said, whilst the style may catch your eye, it’s the surprisingly solid gameplay and engaging narrative that keeps you playing.

8/10

MARVEL Tokon: Fighting Souls (BETA)

‘Download MARVEL Tōkon: Fighting Souls OPEN BETA! Download and Play Now!’ After wrapping up the Dead Space remake, seeing this notification pop up was a pleasant surprise. I was eager to jump in. Could this be the next Marvel vs. Capcom? Would it play as good as it looked? I downloaded the beta and installed it immediately.

What follows was supposed to be my impressions of the MARVEL Tokon: Fighting Souls Beta. Instead, it’s my impressions of trying to play the MARVEL Tokon: Fighting Souls Beta:

I click Play. Nothing happens. Oh wait – it’s just installing a few prerequisites. It’s fine. The game begins to load. Here we go! The splash screen appears. PlayStation Studios! It’s stuttering but – probably just compiling shaders. MARVEL GAMES! More stuttering!

Okay, we’re finally at the Main Menu. Let’s see what – oh, it’s frozen up. Okay, let’s – oh, it’s a firewall issue. I can fix that. Okay. Let’s try this again. Start it up. Less stuttering. Good. Main Menu. ‘Press Any Button’. Press button!

Nothing. Oh wait. Something. A pop-up window. ‘Sign in to your PSN Account’. What if I don’t have a PSN Account? ‘Create a PSN Account!’ But do I really need to create a PSN account just for a beta? Seriously? An account I’ll likely never use again? Cancel.

‘ATTENTION: You must sign in to PlayStation to access online features’. Okay, but what about OFFLINE features? Can’t I just skip the sign-in and try out the single player versus CPU mode? Back to Main Menu.

‘Press Any Button’. Press button! A pop up window. ‘Sign in to your PSN Account’. GROAN! Okay, fine – ‘Create a PSN Account’. Nothing happens! Let’s try again. Nothing happens! Cancel. ‘ATTENTION: You must sign in to PlayStation to access online features’ I’M TRYING!

Quit game. Restart. Try again. Same outcome. Go on Steam forums: ‘Can’t make a PSN Account’. ‘Stuck at Main Menu’. ‘Can’t Launch the Game’. ‘Crashes after logging in to PSN’. ‘Can’t Play the Game’.

I’m an old man now and I don’t have the patience for this shit. Right click. Uninstall.

I know it’s only a beta, but come the f**k on. If you’re going to make an online account a requirement, you’d better make it work! If Sony want an all digital platform going forward, they sure as shit need to overhaul their online infrastructure.