Now Playing: Mass Effect 3 Remastered

This one has been a long time coming. I really wasn’t sure I wanted to revisit Mass Effect 3. But I felt like enough time had passed that I was ready to tackle it. And maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad this time. And, honestly, it didn’t. This edition of the game includes all of the DLC and extended ending content. I still don’t think the ending is good, but it’s certainly better than how the game released.

Which is a good thing, I guess, but it also means that anyone playing ME3 for the first time this way probably won’t quite understand why it was so hated at release. Because the extended ending took an ending that was absolutely terrible and made it ... just kind of bad. Let’s be clear – it’s still not good, but it’s not quite the vicious kick in the balls the original release was.

I remember back then when most people said it was only the ending that was bad and the rest of the game was fine. I disagreed then and I still disagree now. Mass Effect 3 has a lot of problems beyond the ending. The opening is, in many ways, just as bad as the ending. It feels rushed, abrupt, like you’re simply being railroaded from one point to the next – Earth, Mars, The Citadel – with major plot points either poorly explained or not explained at all.

The Crucible is the ultimate ass-pull, but it’s one I could get behind if it was properly set up or introduced. ME3 doesn’t even try. Nor does it explain why Cerberus now has a massive army and fleet which doesn’t exactly make sense for what has previously been portrayed as a clandestine, cell based organisation. But you know, I can live with that too. It certainly gives the game a little more enemy variety.

What really strikes you during the opening though is the lack of interactive dialogue. Not only do you have less options when you do get some, but a lot of dialogue in ME3 isn’t interactive at all. You just sit back and listen as Shepard responds without any input. And then we have the absolutely awful ‘dream’ sequences which . . . no.

It’s clear that ME3 has stripped any semblance of being an RPG away in favour of a more linear, third person shooter experience in which you’re not really a part of the story, you’re just along for the ride. And Shepard? Shepard is no longer your character. I already wrote a lengthy post about this back in July 2014, so I won’t repeat myself here.

The game does pick up though, most notably in the Tuchanka quests. That’s easily the best part of ME3, although the Rannoch stuff is a close second. Those parts of the game, even if the gameplay aspects aren’t great, are at least very satisfying from a narrative perspective because they’re dealing with events and characters and plot threads established all the way back in ME1 and they can be resolved in multiple and satisfying ways. They’re exactly what I wanted all of ME3 to be.

Unfortunately, once you’re past those the quality noticeably drops. Everything feels rushed again and you’re led through a series of linear missions that feel like glorified horde mode maps in which you just fight mindless waves of mindless enemies. Kai Leng is one of the worst and most embarrassing villains I’ve even seen. I don’t mind the Illusive Man plot in the sense that his motivations and actions (minus the massive army and fleet) do fit the character – he doesn’t just want to destroy the Reapers if he thinks he can control and utilise them.

That’s why I don’t mind the ‘Control’ ending as an option, even if I’d never pick it. It, to me, is the true renegade option because it’s exactly what Cerberus and the Illusive Man wanted, albeit not with Shepard at the helm. Don’t get me started on Synthesis. That shit is completely f**king stupid even with the expanded ‘explanation’ provided in this edition. It feels like it’s the option the developers really wanted us to pick given it requires the highest ‘war score’ but it’s so poorly explained and makes such little sense that why would anyone want to?

It’s also only set up at the very end of the game. At least Control is established earlier on, Synthesis is just tossed in like this grand, supreme idea but it doesn’t make any f**king sense. Speaking of war score or war assets or whatever you want to call it – what a f**king waste of time. I remember prior to release when we all thought ME3 would have a wider scale, more elaborate take on the Suicide Mission of ME2.

Where your choices determines not only if you’ll win but what the cost will be – not only who lives or dies but what races survive. But hey, if you can’t be so elaborate, then at least the war assets factor into the ending in some way, right?

Wrong! They really are just for a score that unlocks the three endings. If you think you might at least see some of those assets appear in cinematic scenes or whatever, think again. Imagine if you saved the Rachni and then you at least got to see a scene of a Krogan squad being saved by Rachni allies? Wouldn’t that be fun? Or when I secured the loyalty of some mercenary groups. What if they showed up at a key point and helped turn the tide? Give me f**king something. Anything.

Even with the extended content, the ending of ME3 still feels abrupt, weird, nonsensical and rushed. There’s no proper epilogue reflecting on what you did or the choices you made. No, it’s not as terrible as at release but it’s still pretty bad. You know, I thought I’d gotten over my anger towards ME3 but I’ve now realised this review has turned into another directionless rant.

I think I’ll stop here. I’m glad I played ME3 again, I guess, if only to remind myself of the things I did like about it. Because there are some genuinely great moments in ME3. It’s a shame the rest of the game, the ending in particular, is so bad or lacklustre in comparison. I’m not going to say this ‘remastered’ edition is bad because I think, overall, new players will probably enjoy it. But they’ll never know what it was like. They’ll never understand the anger or the pain.

5/10