Now Playing: Sifu

In Sifu you play as some guy or gal – I don’t think you actually have a name – who as a young child witnesses their father (a martial arts school ‘sifu’) get killed by a gang of disgraced students. The child vows revenge and years (and much training) later, tracks down their father’s killers.

Sifu has a really strong opening that also serves as a basic tutorial. It’s short, simple and to the point. It sets up the plot and structure of the game – you go to a location, fight your way through various goons, find any necessary keys or items needed to progress and then fight the boss.

There are five members of the gang who killed your father to fight, so that means five unique levels and bosses. Between each level you’ll return to your hideout to practice your moves or change your outfit.

The narrative aspects are kept pretty light throughout, with only a handful of cutscenes (mostly just before you fight each of the five bosses). There is a ‘supernatural’ aspect to the game in the sense that you possess a talisman that resurrects you if you die, but also ages you when you return. The more you die, the older you get.

It’s a pretty interesting and fun way to handle difficulty because you can’t really ‘fail’ when you can resurrect as many times as you’d like, but there is a limit to how old you can go before you finally croak from age. The bosses you fight also possess some supernatural abilities but there’s no explanation for it – it’s just the way it is and that’s fine.

The game looks great. It’s a very polished and visually distinct game with strong presentation. The combat animations all look good, and I like how contextual the takedown moves are based on the direction of your attack, your attack type, and the local environment. There’s a rough and tumble, fight with whatever is at hand ‘The Raid’ kind of aspect to it as you pick up brooms, bottles or pipes during fights – although nowhere near as bloody, sadly.

The combat system rewards patience and precision and is built on a system of block, parry and deflect, combined with a ‘structure’ bar for both you and your enemies – break an enemy’s structure, and you can perform a quick and easy takedown. There are combos to learn and special ‘focus’ attacks but . . . yeah, we’ll talk more about player progression in a moment.

Sifu can be a pretty challenging game. I began playing on the default difficulty but actually dropped it to the easier setting after finishing the first mission. I felt like I needed a little more leeway to properly learn the combat and the all-important parry/deflect timing because I was mashing my way (poorly) through too many fights.

And the more I played and the combat clicked with me, I really did like the game . . . but I didn’t end up loving it because of the way the game handles player or rather skill progression. Sifu is a game that’s built upon doing ‘runs’ of levels, almost like a rogue-like – but not really? Because in Sifu, the levels are always the same. There’s no randomisation here.

Sure, you can unlock a new path or area in a level that can then be accessed on a second ‘run’ but aside from that, it feels like the game is just padding out its content by forcing you to replay levels in order to grind out and permanently unlock your skills.

How so? Well, as you progress you’ll unlock new abilities from shrines and new skills from your talisman – new combo moves, new types of offensive or defensive moves, new weapon skills and new focus special attacks.

Whilst the combat is fun even with only your default (but limited) attacks, it’s when you start to unlock your new abilities that I’d say Sifu’s combat really starts to shine. You have more combat options, and a wider variety of ways to deal with enemies as you progress. But here’s the problem – every time you die, all your skills reset to zero, forcing you back to fighting with only your basic attacks.

Wait, what? Why? I then discovered that you have to purchase each individual skill five(!) times in order to unlock it permanently. In other words – keeping doing those repetitive ‘runs’ of each level so you can grind out every skill five times so you don’t lose it.

I’m sorry – but what the f***? Having my skill progress repeatedly reset throughout the game really isn’t very fun! The best thing about Sifu is its combat and the new skills you unlock are what enhance the combat as you progress . . . so it’s a little bizarre that the game deliberately sabotages its best feature by continually taking those skills away.

This makes no sense to me. Normally when I come across a game mechanic I’m not a fan of I can at least understand the purpose of it. But what’s the intention here? It doesn’t make the game more challenging or fun. It adds nothing but frustration and wastes the time of the player.

And when I finished Sifu after about 4 and a half hours of play I was eager to jump back into the levels again with all my unlocked skills and try out those cool new combos and focus attacks. But f**k me, the game reset everything again, putting me right back at square one! Why would I want to fight through the same levels again with only the limited, default moves?

Okay, I know I’m going a little off the rails with this one, but limiting skill progression this way in a game like this is genuinely baffling to me. The combat is what makes Sifu super fun to play and the more options you have in combat, the more fun it gets. So why introduce a system that continually removes those options?

Normally when I disagree with a design choice I can at least understand the intent behind it but with Sifu . . . I just don’t understand the intent at all. It actually makes the game far worse to play and far less enjoyable than it could be. Overall, Sifu is a really fun game let down by a f**king bizarre and detrimental design choice. I’d still say it’s worth checking out though.

6/10

NSO Retro: Star Fox 64 (N64)

Star Fox 64 (AKA Lylat Wars) was originally released on the N64 back in 1997 but I never bought or played it back in the day. In fact, my first Star Fox was Star Fox Adventures (2002) on the GameCube which, as a third-person action-adventure, doesn’t play like any of the other games in the series. I can’t say I recall much about it, but maybe I’ll find time to replay it in the future.

Star Fox 64 is apparently a reboot of the original Star Fox but I didn’t know that going in. You play as Fox McCloud, a fox who pilots an ‘Arwing’ space fighter ship. Fox leads the Star Fox team that includes a rabbit, a falcon and a frog. Don’t ask me!

When the evil scientist Andross launches an attack on the Lylat system, General Pepper (a dog?) recruits Fox and his team to help. The game features a seven mission campaign, but the missions and the locations will vary depending upon your progress. There’s a branching level system in which new paths unlock based on certain criteria but it’s not entirely clear what those criteria are – at least it wasn’t to me.

I did enjoy playing through the path I unlocked though – aside from one mission in which I was stuck on the ground in a tank. I didn’t like that one at all. The game is at its best when you’re flying in the Arwing and shooting everything that moves – sorry, Slippy!

You have a rapid fire laser with a lock-on ability (only a single enemy lock – this isn’t Panzer Dragoon) and you can also pick up and fire more powerful bombs. You can manoeuvre the Arwing fairly easily (though the controls take some getting used to on a modern pro controller) with the ability to (famously) ‘do a barrel roll!’ for quick evasion. You can also boost or brake as needed.

Most missions see you fighting through an environment on-rails, but there are times you enter ‘All-Range Mode’ and you can freely fly around a 3D space. It’s those moments that reminded me a lot of the Rogue Squadron games – I really need to replay those too.

In fact, the last few missions are pretty much just Star Wars as Fox leads a fighter assault on the totally not the Death Star. After fighting over its surface, Fox flies into the structure to confront Andross himself . . . who it turns out is a giant robotic Ape head. Don’t ask me!

There’s even a Star Wars medal sequence at the end, although Fox is kind of an a-hole who tells General pepper to shove it.

I ‘finished’ Star Fox 64 in about 45-50 minutes (including the tutorial). I was surprised how short it was but like I said, there is replay value here in the branching level system, and in the ranking system that gives you a target to beat.

Once I’d got the hang of the controls I had quite a bit of fun with it, and I liked the trash talking enemies just as much as I liked the support of the Star Fox team – aside from Slippy who was always asking for my help. Do it yourself, Slippy!

Now Playing: Battlefield 6

Following the disaster that was the Battlefield 2042 release, Battlefield 6 is undoubtedly a return to form for the series. Or perhaps ‘form’ is a little too generous – a return to ‘competence’ might be more appropriate. Because Battlefield 6 is undoubtedly a competently designed game, but it’s also a deeply unambitious one.

And I get why. After 2042 there needed to be a return to basics. A ‘if it ain’t broke’ approach to design. Tried and tested. Keep it simple and give the fans what they were asking for. And we can’t say it didn’t work – with over 7 million sales in its first three days of release, Battlefield 6 is a smash hit.

I’m writing this review with over 50 hours now clocked (including my Campaign time) and I feel confident in saying that I think Battlefield 6 is a good game – but not a great one. I’ve already shared my rather negative impressions of the single player campaign here, but allow me to summarise:

The campaign is disappointing and weak, serving as a poor tutorial for the MP (classes / gadgets / vehicles) and despite the opportunity afforded by a scripted experience, features little in the way of the large scale battlefield action that fans of this series might expect. It also fails to deliver any exciting set-piece moments that really push the destruction physics in a way only a scripted campaign could, and the enemy AI is absolutely terrible.

And, in many ways, it sadly reflects the overall MP experience too – because like the campaign, the MP aspect of BF6 rarely delivers on the large scale, combined arms ‘Battlefield experience’ that fans of this series crave, and it doesn’t push the destruction physics in ways that truly transform the experience.

I really loved the destruction in Battlefield 5 because it really did transform the ‘flow’ of maps over the course of a battle. Combined with the fortifications system (which has been removed in BF6) maps would become almost unrecognisable by the end of a match. The way you approached attacking or defending objectives shifted significantly based on the level of destruction or the fortifications players had constructed amidst the ruins.

In BF6, the destruction, whilst visually impressive, rarely if ever transforms a map or the flow of the fight. It’s far more cosmetic in nature than in BF5 and as a result, the maps never really evolve in the way they did in BF5. From beginning to end, the battle ‘flow’ remains the same.

Also in BF5, I felt like those Battlefield ‘moments’ were a regular feature of every match I played. In BF6, however, I can probably count them on one hand in 50 hours of play. By ‘moments’ I mean those thrilling, unscripted sequences of events as all the chaotic elements of a Battlefield match combine to create a spectacular scene that’s crafted totally by player action.

I’m talking about one match where I was advancing on foot alongside a dozen other soldiers as two friendly tanks pushed on enemy positions. Overhead, a helicopter passed low, ejecting flares to avoid a missile lock. As the tanks began to fire on the enemy position, the helicopter, taking another pass, gets hit and spirals in the air before crashing to the ground nearby in a fiery explosion.

Totally unscripted moments like that – moments driven entirely by player action – are what make Battlefield special. An experience you really can’t get anywhere else. But in BF6, those moments are far too rare because of the really big problem BF6 has – the maps.

The maps in BF6 aren’t bad. They’re okay. But even the ‘big’ maps feel small. They still feel designed to channel players into tiny little zones. There’s so many maps that don’t feature air vehicles at all, and even the ones that do don’t feel large enough for them to be utilised effectively. The one time I did manage to jump into a jet on what is supposed to be the largest map in the game, I was being locked onto by anti-air before I’d even taken off!

Most maps that do feature vehicles are ground based only, and even then, things like jeeps are usually just used to race to the first objective, but useless after that. Tanks or IFVs can be useful, but require the constant attention of a dedicated engineer or two if they want to survive more direct action, otherwise they have to resort to long range tank sniping. Too many maps force vehicles into tiny, narrow streets that are either littered with a ridiculous number of mines, or make it too easy for infantry to ambush them.

Most matches in BF6 are just infantry versus infantry in close quarters fighting on relatively small maps – and that’s NOT where the strength of Battlefield as a series lies. The good news, however, is that they’ve really nailed the general movement and shooting. The moment to moment action of BF6 feels great. I also think they’ve got a solid selection of weapons and gadgets and a genuinely transformative weapon customisation system.

BF6 feels really good to play, despite the small maps and the lack of the big Battlefield ‘moments’ that sets this series apart. And that’s good news because it means the foundation is solid. What the game desperately needs is better maps, bigger maps, and more emphasis on large scale, combined arms warfare and more meaningful destruction. Once it gets those – if it gets those – then it will go from being a very safe, unambitious but solid title, into something truly special.

I’d also welcome some tweaks to the challenges system which is a little too much of a grind right now, especially for unlocking weapon mods, and fixes for the challenges that don’t seem to track properly which can be very frustrating. I also think the mode selection and UI presentation leaves a lot to be desired. I’m all for new modes, but you can also have too many that split the player base too much - it’s a delicate balance to get right.

My big concern for BF6 is the rather quick introduction of the Battle Royale mode so soon after release and all the associated ‘battle pass’ stuff that comes with it. As someone not very interested in the BR mode, I am worried that its popularity and revenue potential might make it the priority with regard to updates and new content at the expense of the base game. But, I guess we’ll see, eh?

Overall, Battlefield 6 is a solid and very enjoyable multiplayer experience that serves as a solid foundation to potentially transformative new content. They got the basics right. They stuck to the tried and tested and it paid off. But now it’s a question of can they move forward, and make this a game that truly delivers the intense Battlefield experience fans crave.

7/10

Suburban Killbot: Top 10 Best Games (2025 Edition)

Back in September 2022 I put together a list of what I considered to be the Top 10 ‘Best’ Games I’d reviewed. I figured it was time to update the list, but deciding what to include and what to cut was pretty darn tricky.

I did consider cheating a little and include entire trilogies within a single slot (Bayonetta / The Witcher) and I did think of expanding the list into a ‘Top 20’ or even a ‘Top 50’.

In the end I decided to just keep things simple, suck it up and pick a final 10. So here they are – the Top 10 Best Games of Suburban Killbot:

1 - Bayonetta 3

Honestly, I could talk all day about how much I love this game (and its banging soundtrack) but I don’t want to spoil anything and I think it’s best enjoyed and discovered by yourself. Bayonetta 3 is an incredible achievement that should (but likely won’t) get the recognition it deserves, at least not from more ‘mainstream’ gaming press / audiences. It’s too much of a video game for their liking.

Bayonetta 3 is f**king amazing and one of the best experiences I’ve ever had with a video game. It’s everything I didn’t know I wanted and more. It’s the perfect end to a perfect trilogy and one of the greatest games ever made. (Review)

2 - NieR: Automata

Visually, NieR is great, though a little rough in the open world. The soundtrack is fantastic. As I said, I can’t recommend the PC version of NieR as it is, but maybe things will change in the future. The issues I experienced did have a negative impact on my experience, but the fact that I was willing to persist with it should give you an idea how impressed I was with the game itself. It’s one of the most unique and interesting titles you’ll play this year, both in terms of narrative and gameplay. (Review)

3 - Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

If you love video games like I do, then there’s one game I’d say you must play this year – Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Because Expedition 33 is a masterpiece. Regardless of how you may feel about turn-based RPGs – and as I’ve said many times on this blog, I’m not typically a fan – Expedition 33 is simply too fantastic not to play.

From gameplay, to visuals, to animations, to audio, to soundtrack, to performances & VA. To plot, pacing & dialogue, to side content, to boss fights, to . . . well, everything – Expedition 33 smashes it all out of the park. If you love this medium, then Expedition 33 represents everything that’s great about it. (Review)

4 - Half-Life: Alyx

If you already own a VR system then it’s a must buy – it’s a new standard by which all VR games will be compared. But if you don’t own a VR device yet, would I say to pick one up just for Alyx? That’s a tricky one to answer, but I think I’d have to say no, not unless you’ve got money to burn.

However, if there are other VR games you want to play in addition to Alyx, then now is a great time to jump on the VR train – just be aware that Alyx is the new bar by which VR games will be judged, and it may be a long time before we see another game compare. (Review)

5 - The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Despite my criticisms and odd irritations, there’s no denying that the overall experience of playing Breath of the Wild was incredibly engaging, engrossing and most importantly – fun. It’s one of those rare titles that comes along and reminds you why you love video games so much. Breath of the Wild was a joy to play. (Review)

6 - Horizon: Zero Dawn

Horizon Zero Dawn was excellent from start to finish. The few weak points – the human enemies / villain and the rather simplistic upgrades / modifications – don’t detract from what is one of the best games I’ve played this year. The main quest is engaging, the side content (beyond a handful of exceptions) is all worth your time with unique narratives, characters and encounters. The combat is great with a variety of tools and enemies with a welcome focus on player creativity and tactics. (Review)

7 - Cyberpunk 2077

It’s pretty hard for me to recommend Cyberpunk 2077 in its current state. I’ve really loved it, but your experience may not be quite as smooth as mine. A friend of mine couldn’t even launch the game, let alone play it. So no, I can’t recommend it. Or, I’d say it’s currently a ‘play at your own risk’ kind of situation. If you can wait, I’d say wait. If not, you’d better accept this is far from perfect in its current state.

But that doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it. I did. I had an absolute blast. And if the developers can patch those bugs, smooth out those rough edges, reintegrate a lot of those little immersive features they apparently cut and introduce the new kind of content I’ve described here, it will go down as one of the best games ever made. I guess the question is: can they do it? I sure hope so. (Review)

8 - Starfield

I can understand why others may not enjoy Starfield as much as I did, why they may think it dated, but for all its flaws, I still think Starfield is a pretty remarkable game and experience. It’s the kind of game that reminds me why I still love and enjoy playing video games. It’s a one of a kind experience. The kind of game that doesn’t come along very often. A game I’ve already lost myself in for 200 hours and yet, I still want to keep going. There’s a lot more space out there for me to explore. (Review)

9 - The Witcher 3

The Witcher 3 provides an extensive and comprehensive Witcher experience. Even after completing the game (120 hours) I still want to keep playing. It’s flawed, but fantastic. It can be exhausting at times and occasionally overwhelming, but it always manages to pull things together and keep you on track. It’s bloated, messy, frustrating and wonderful. And for all its problems, it’s still one of the best RPGs I’ve ever played. (Review)

10 - Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2

Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2 is an incredible technical achievement and one of the most immersive and engaging experiences you’ll ever play. It’s a game that deserves to win awards for its visuals, story and performances. You won’t have experienced anything like this before and you might not ever again. Games like Hellblade 2 remind me why I love this medium so much. I f**king love video games and it’s because of games like Hellblade 2 that I do. (Review)

Now Playing: Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds

I was a little on the fence about picking up Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds at release, mostly because of the price. But I did pick it up and . . . yeah, I still think the price is too steep and has likely limited sales. That’s a guess on my part, but I feel like a lower RRP would have encouraged more people to buy at release, rather than wait for a sale.

Pricing aside, CrossWorlds is a pretty great racing game. As I said in my BETA impressions post, I don’t feel the, uh, ‘feel’ of driving in CrossWorlds is quite as good as in Transformed, even after sinking over 20 hours into the game. The handling doesn’t feel quite as good. The drifting is a little more ‘rigid’.

And I still feel that the races – particularly the online races – are too heavily influenced by item usage / spam leading to some very chaotic encounters where it feels like chance plays a bigger factor in your final position in a race than skill. Luck is always going to be a factor in a kart racer like this, but it’s all about the balance. Right now, the balance between chance and skill still isn’t quite right. They certainly need to make a few tweaks to various items – and perhaps, as I said in my BETA post – a reduction in item availability.

But, those problems aside, CrossWorlds is a very enjoyable and replayable kart racer. I’ve actually put more time into CrossWorlds already than I ever did into Transformed. There are eight Grand Prix to play, each with 3 tracks, in addition to 15 CrossWorlds (the chosen or randomly selected second lap of every race).

You have multiple ‘speeds’ (difficulty) to choose from, as well as a ‘rivals’ system with its own separate difficulty setting. You even have a fun ‘mirror’ version of all the Grand Prix. Beyond the main GP modes you have the ‘Race Park’ which offers a selection of themed, team based races and, once again, ‘rivals’ to challenge. And then we have the Time Trial mode which offers different speed settings and ranks to clear. And all of these modes offer rewards you can unlock as you progress and complete various challenges.

This progression of challenges and rewards, along with the fun kart customisation, give CrossWorlds (at least for me) more replay value than Transformed. You’re not done with the game once you’ve cleared all the courses because there’s always more to unlock.

There are multiple kart types to pick from, each of which has multiple parts that you can mix and match to fine tune your kart stats. Each character also has their own specific stats so you can put together a combination of character and kart that’s entirely focused on boosting a specific skill – speed, for example – or choose a combo that offers a more balanced approach.

 

Your karts aren’t just customisable in terms of parts but also visuals, with an extensive selection of art and colour choices. And then we have the ‘Gadgets’ which provide even more ways to customise your racing experience, more replay value in terms of experimentation with different gadget combos – and even more chaotic racing!

Gadgets are modifiers that can be used to mix up all sorts of things from kart stats, to item frequency / effectiveness, to speed boosts related to specific skills (ring collection / drifting). With a full ‘licence’ you can have up to 6 slots for gadgets, but some gadgets can take up to 3 slots each, so there’s a balancing act between more or less gadgets, and what kind of modifiers you want based on how you prefer to race.

Do you focus on speed or acceleration? Do you want a kart that boosts as fast as possible? There’s always a trade off, however and it’s also important to build your gadget set up around the kind of kart and character you’ve chosen.

In terms of visuals, sound and performance, I can’t really complain. The game is very polished, runs totally smoothly and although some online match making can be a bit slow, I’ve only experienced a single disconnect in all my hours of play. The game is bright, colourful, with catchy music and even though things can get pretty chaotic at times, it’s still pretty easy to read what’s going on.

The only thing I’m really not a fan of so far are the themed ‘festivals’. These run over just 3 days and offer a selection of rewards if you engage in the team based online festival races. Although it’s not too hard to unlock everything on offer it still forces you to play and grind through these races if you don’t want to miss out.

It might be they’ll cycle through these festivals regularly, giving you a chance to claim any rewards you missed but at the time of writing, that’s not been confirmed. They also lock you out of regular online racing during these festivals so if you enjoy that and don’t care about the festival stuff, you’re shit out of luck.

Overall, Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds is an excellent kart racer with plenty of content to keep you busy and plenty of replay value. There’s certainly room for improvement in terms of balancing, and I do think the festival system needs more work but as a package, CrossWorlds delivers a great experience. I still think at its current RRP it’s a little overpriced, so maybe wait for a sale, eh?

8/10

Battlefield 6 (Campaign)

I didn’t have particularly high expectations for the Campaign of Battlefield 6. I figured it would be a perfectly fine – if forgettable – experience. Turns out, I was wrong. I should have set my expectations even lower because the Campaign of Battlefield 6 isn’t just forgettable – it’s just bad.

Now, you might say it doesn’t really matter – that nobody is playing Battlefield 6 for the Campaign. But the fact is, the Campaign is part of the package you’re paying for and as such, it’s fair game for review.

The Campaign consists of nine missions and took me about 4-5 hours to complete on the hardest difficulty, although that time didn’t include hunting down the collectible Dog Tags. So let’s start with the story – the Campaign opens with a conflict breaking out between NATO and the PAX Armata – a global, private military force.

You’ll play as a select few characters throughout the missions as you fight to thwart the nefarious plans of PAX – you only ever see the conflict from the NATO side, which is kind of a shame, because PAX could have been a more interesting and morally / politically complex force than just the ‘bad guys doing bad things’ they end up being.

The missions are framed as flashbacks to events prior in the conflict as the story tries to inject a rather trite ‘CIA conspiracy’ angle into things. It’s all complete nonsense, of course, and totally unnecessary. It certainly doesn’t add anything to the story because the Campaign ends right when you ‘expose’ the truth. Sort of. Maybe. I don’t know. None of it really makes any sense if you stop to think about it.

The characters are of the ‘Oorah!’ variety, all very serious, all very ‘Oorah!’. I don’t really mind that though – I mean, it’s exactly what I expected. And even if the story is kind of shit, I wouldn’t care so much about that either if the missions themselves were fun.

Oh dear. The missions just aren’t very fun at all. I thought the Campaign might see you switch between characters that represent the different MP classes – Assault, Recon, Support and Engineer – giving you a taste of each and their associated abilities / gadgets. It – sort of – does this, but it doesn’t really commit to it and a lot of the abilities / gadgets of MP aren’t available at all.

This is also true of vehicles. Aside from a single mission in which you get to drive a tank (and a pretty dull mission at that) there’s practically no vehicle use in the campaign. I’m not asking for the entire Campaign to serve as a general tutorial for the MP, but I’d expect it to at least reflect all aspects of the MP experience.

Where’s the helicopter mission? Or the jet mission? There aren’t any! The only moments you get in a helicopter are entirely scripted. In fact, most vehicle use is just you locked into a static turret section. A Battlefield Campaign should play to the strengths of Battlefield – large scale battles, lots of vehicles, combined arms – instead, the Campaign plays out like a really bad, heavily scripted Call of Duty campaign.

The mission design is generally poor and feels like something ripped out of a bog-standard military shooter released 20 years ago. The destruction physics, like the vehicles, are barely utilised, and the AI is absolutely atrocious. I can’t recall the last time I saw AI this bad in a shooter.

I just don’t get the point of it. It doesn’t serve as a good tutorial for MP in terms of classes, skills, gadgets or vehicles and it doesn’t reflect the Battlefield ‘experience’ in terms of large scale battles or combined arms. It barely utilises the impressive destruction physics when – in a scripted campaign – it could have done so in some truly exciting ways. The story is bad and the AI is terrible.

Even if you already own Battlefield 6 it’s hard to recommend bothering with the campaign unless you want those collectible achievements. And if the Campaign was one of the main reasons you were thinking of picking it up – don’t. Seriously, don’t.