Now Watching: Black Panther

Black Panther is one of the worst MCU films, not in the sense that it’s bad, but because it’s so painfully mediocre. Give it a week, and I’ll forget I’ve even seen it. To rank it on the MCU scale, it falls onto the lower end, dropping somewhere between Doctor Strange and Spider-Man: Homecoming.

And I’d say it shares a lot in common with the recent Homecoming – a messy plot, choppy action, but saved by the strength of its performances and an interesting – if poorly used – villain.

Warning! Spoilers!

The problem with Black Panther’s plot is that it totally falls apart if any of the characters just do the sensible thing. If T’Challa just says no when Erik challenges him – he must suspect Erik was working with Klaw and was responsible for his escape, so why accept? Why not call him out for the liar and murderer he is? He’s already fought one challenger and proven his right to rule. Tradition? Why would anyone in Wakanda care?

And Wakanda is probably the biggest missed opportunity of Black Panther. A technological paradise hidden within the heart of Africa, and what do we see of its culture or people? Aside from a sweeping CGI cityscape, we only ever see a single market street, a throne room, a field, a waterfall and an underground cave.

Wakanda doesn’t feel like a real place with real people – how do those thousands of Wakandan citizens feel about their King having to fight challengers to the death? How do they feel about him being defeated and Erik taking charge? We don’t know, because they don’t seem to actually exist. If a key part of your plot and T’Challa’s arc is him trying to decide what’s best for his people, maybe actually show them?

Why, when Erik is about to kill T’Challa does his personal guard not intervene? Erik is clearly a deranged psychopath, so why agree to follow him? And I’m sorry, but the ‘we serve whoever sits on the throne’ scene is bullshit, especially when they just change their minds later anyway. So if T’Challa hadn’t returned they’d have just let Erik kill millions of people? Seriously? You can’t show characters like Okoye to be strong, noble and good and then expect us to believe they’d just stand by and watch millions of innocents die because ‘tradition’.

There’s lots of other silly little things, but I can’t list them all. Why was Erik even working with Klaw? Why was it so important for Agent Ross to shoot down the Wakandan ships – couldn’t T’Challa have just ordered them to return after defeating Erik? Why did nobody think to check if T’Challa was actually dead? Why would W’Kabi side with Erik when T’Challa returned – if you’re playing the ‘tradition’ card, then he’d agree that the challenge wasn’t over and T’Challa and Erik had to finish the fight alone. But I guess they really wanted a terrible action scene with CGI rhinos.

Oh god, the ‘action’. The best action scenes in Black Panther are as follows – the casino fight, mostly for Okoye tearing shit up with her spear and Klaw chewing the scenery, and the two waterfall challenge fights. You know what they had in common? A lack of CGI and actual fight choreography. I really hate the ‘full body’ CGI models because they always look so fake and terrible. It’s not so bad when it’s a quick cut or shot, but extended sequences or movements take me right out of the moment.

And why did they need to use a CGI model just for two guys going at it with fists? They’re masked anyway, so why not just put some stuntmen in the suits and give us a fight that feels like it actually packs a punch? The final battle between T’Challa and Erik might be the worst thing in the entire MCU. It’s 90% CGI and looks like a bad cartoon. It’s Justice League bad, that’s how awful it looks.

Why not lose the suits – the power of Black Panther isn’t the outfit, as the film makes clear. When you have good actors, why hide their faces? And why not have them duke it out back at the waterfall? It’s would be more thematic and far more visually engaging than a bland, dark CGI train tunnel. Who the f**k thought that was a good idea?

The more I think about Black Panther, the more annoyed I am by it. I really liked the cast, and Erik is a charismatic villain, but sadly, not a very sympathetic one. It felt like this should have been more of an ideological clash rather than a physical one – think Professor X and Magneto – they both want what’s best for their people, but have very different ideas about how to go about it.

The problem is, Erik is a psychopath who murders people for no reason. If we’re expected to sympathise with his character it’s kind of impossible to do when he shoots a woman who was helping him, pointlessly slits another’s throat when she was already beaten and tries to stab the delightful Shuri with a spear. What a dick!

Overall, I was frustrated by Black Panther. They gathered a good cast, but had a shoddy script and disappointing action. I’m glad we’ll be getting a sequel, because I hope the next time, these characters get the story and action they deserve.

5/10